After nine long months, your new arrival is here, shaking up everyone else in your growing family. Here’s some advice to make the inevitable changes a positive experience for everyone.
1. Pay attention to timing. Choosing when to announce your great news to your other kids depends on each child’s age. If you aren’t showing yet, your two year old won’t understand what you are trying to explain. In addition, nine months is practically half his lifetime and much too long to know about your impending pregnancy. Once you are about five months along, he can actually see your bulge where the baby is and that’s enough time for him to get used to the news.
2. Make sure that you include other siblings in your pregnancy. When the baby kicks, let your children feel it. This will point out that a real person is growing inside you. Encourage your kids to be involved in setting up the nursery and thinking up baby names. It’s vital that they feel part of the process.
3. Be sure your older children feel special. Spend quality time with each one of your kids before the baby comes, and let each one know how important he is. Remind him that as a big brother, he can help with the baby, who will have a lot to learn from him. Tell him you can’t wait to see what a great, loving big brother he is.
4. When it’s time to pass things down from an older child to a younger one, be sure to ask permission from the older sibling. If you plan to move your toddler into a bed so that the baby can have his crib, plan ahead. Let your toddler know that he is so lucky to be a big boy now who can sleep in his very own big boy bed. He can help you pick out his favorite character sheets or bed spread, to make his new bed his own. You should make this transition at least one month before the baby is due to arrive. When the baby is born, you can ask your toddler if it’s okay if the baby sleeps in his old crib, now that he is in a big boy bed. Help him feel special that he is sharing something so important with his new little baby.
5. Remember to find time for your other kids after the baby is born. Naturally, the focus will be on the new arrival, but it’s important to remind your older children that they are important to you and you appreciate their help during this busy time. Many times, company will visit with gifts for the new baby, and often for the siblings, too. If they forget the other kids, it’s a good idea to have a stash of small things that you can bring out for them to remind them that they are special. Wait until the company leaves, and then offer the kids a coloring book, puzzle or something similar as a thank you for being so understanding. When the baby sleeps, try to spend some quality time with the other kids.
6. Encourage the children to appreciate each other. As your family grows, it is even more important that your kids get along with one another, and truly love each other. Sure, there will always be sibling rivalry, but try to find ways to build their relationship as opposed to making them feel like they need to compete for your time and attention.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy! It’s only natural that when the new baby is born, you will be tired and your house will be chaotic. Preparation will make the transition smoother for everyone.
Terri Akman is a freelance writer and preschool teacher. Get more tips on preschool development at her website at http://www.preschoolteach.blogspot.com
